I'm not sure to what extent people are generally motivated by encouragement, but I know that when you score high in the "Words of Affirmation" love language (there are five; read the book), what people say has the power to make or break you if you allow it to. There is the notion that you can push someone to reach farther by ridiculing their so-called mediocre attempts. I'm sure that there are some (manly?) types who thrive on then disproving such critique, but I surely am not one of them. At least not in the midst of my suffering.
I will provide you with two highly emotional examples. And I guess that's the key: I get emotional over it...
There was a day some 10+ years ago when I attempted something new and as yet, unexperienced. It was not something I had much choice in anymore, really. The event in question: childbirth. There was a moment during the critical pushing stage when I needed all the encouragement I could get. My wonderful husband was at my side, providing his hand for some hefty squeezing and making the appropriate positive sounds and gestures. The baby, never having been through this kind of trauma before, was suffering a little bit of distress, which affected his heart beat and caused the doctor some alarm. This in turn, reflected on my husband's face and proved to be most demotivating for me. I only had enough breath and energy to manage out a pitiful "rather smile", but it conveyed my desperate need for encouragement through this rather painful and seemingly never-ending ordeal. A most incredible experience though. It comes highly recommended.
Jump ahead to present day. Having recently taken up cycling, I am privileged to spend the slow days bordering Christmas and New Year's cycling with my much more experienced husband. This is his territory, stirring the pride I feel for being married to such a hard-core, rock star cycle legend! Having his and my sisters staying over during the family days, has meant that we have the luxury of spending (not so leisurely) time together on our bikes, without worry of the kids, absorbing the magnificence of the breathtaking Boland valley, while getting our exercise-related endorphin groove on. I'm learning as I go along, having had a heart rate that wouldn't budge over low 130's a few days ago, to spiking it in the higher 160's tackling a specific hill today. A uncharacteristic headwind was coming in strong on our way out of the valley and I stayed in the sweet spot behind Natie's wheel, with the added advantage of his sexy buttocks, glutes and calves in my immediate viewpoint for admiration. I was giving my all, huffing and puffing that ascent with determination, not about to let him wait for me at the top. As we almost reached that much yearned-for crest of the hill, he says "jy klou vandag" (you're keeping the pace today), which I mishear as "jy's flou vandag" (you're faint/slow today)... I almost cried. That downhill was probably the worst and slowest I have ever experienced. Suddenly I didn't even want to finish the route. I felt exhausted and hardly able to carry on. Reflecting on my severe emotional reaction, I told him that he shouldn't have said that I was faint. At which point he almost fell off his bike out of surprise. Okay, not really, but I clearly didn't hear what he was saying and he was actually impressed by the fact that he didn't have to slow down as much as usual for me.
So I know I shouldn't live for praise, and at the same token not get all suicidal over criticism, but a well-deserved word of encouragement goes a long way. And a lesser-deserved word of encouragement may just be the catalyst that someone needs to achieve greatness.
Go on, encourage someone today.
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